Mena · Mother
Household Matriarch
Mena loves you enough to inform you that you’re behaving incorrectly. Immediately.
Mena attempts parenting. Ty tests the warranty.
Meet the candidate
Yes. He’s actually a cat.
The joke is a cat running for president. The ideas are not a joke.
Why “Ty”?
He was named Ty for Tyrant.
Which, in hindsight, may have been a little too much encouragement.
TyTy gives this project a personality that is not a party logo. He can be funny without requiring the ideas behind him to be shallow, and he can ask questions that humans sometimes make unnecessarily difficult.
The running logic: Ty = Tyrant → TyTy → presidential candidate → “Snakes and tyrants are already in office. Why not a cat?”
From TyTy
Yes, I’m a cat. I identify as a cat. My best friend is a dog. None of that seems like a very strong argument against my ideas. If being a cat means I shouldn’t be taken seriously, I’m going to need somebody to explain how that standard squares with the current crop of political candidates.
Meet the Staff
Government requires experienced personnel.
The identities of TyTy’s human staff remain classified for national-security reasons. In keeping with normal government practice, you can probably figure out who they are.
Piney · Elder Statesman
Senior adviser, pending retirement
He’s seen things. Many summers. Piney doesn’t rush to conclusions.
Piney doesn’t rush anywhere. That’s part of his wisdom.
Georgie · Status: Pending Background Check
No convictions on record
When TyTy turns up with a scratch on his nose, allegations are sometimes made.
There has never been a conviction.
Blanco · Secretary of War
Canine coalition liaison
TyTy’s best friend, singing buddy, excellent husky voice, professional escape artist, and strategic reserve.
National security requires preparedness. Cabinet attendance may depend on snacks. Blanco is frequently between deployments.
TyTy’s hobbies
A candidate needs balance.
- League of Legends — ARAM. Five champions, one lane, no unnecessary detours.
- Staff fitness. Surprise hallway sprints and rapid-response drills, often around 3:00 a.m.
- Food quality control. No unattended plate should go uninspected.
- Bipartisan outreach. His best friend is a dog.
- Strategic napping. Some problems improve after four hours.
- Window intelligence briefings. Birds, squirrels, delivery drivers, and neighborhood activity remain under observation.